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Health Information
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Friday, July 04, 2008
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Taking Care of
Your Feelings
What
You Can Expect
- What kinds of
feelings are "normal"? There is no "right" way to feel; the
important thing is to handle your emotions in a way that works
for you. Many survivors find that the key for them is talking
their feelings out-with family and friends, health professionals,
other patients, and counselors such as clergy and psychotherapists.
- The following
stories show the range of feelings that many cancer survivors
have. Each of them is a normal reaction that is often part
of the cancer survivor's life.
- "In the first
6 months after my cancer treatment, I saw my cancer more as
a threat to my life plans for marriage and a career than I
did as a threat to my life. I felt the most depressed and
anxious during the first 3 months, but then I started to get
back to normal. I say started, because I'm not sure I'm there
yet. It's getting better, but I still feel a little off balance."
-Marcia B.
- "I don't intend
to focus on cancer for the rest of my life. I follow my care
plan but I don't dwell on the disease or talk about it to
others. Some (I suppose) well-meaning people at the office
said that my reaction is called denial, and that it is bad
for me. I talked about it with the doctor, and he said denial
can be positive when it helps you get on with your life. I
have my ups and downs like every one else, but I feel good
about the way I'm handling my disease."-Joe K.
- "I have to say
that there's been one positive result of my having had cancer.
It made me look at the real possibility of my own death, something
I had never thought much about before. That made me take a
hard look at my life and decide what really mattered to me.
As a survivor, I now see every day as a precious gift."-Vicki
W.
- "My cancer treatment
ended 10 years ago, but I still get anxious every time I go
in for a checkup. The nurse told me that's a common reaction."-Dave
L.
- "I was very surprised
at how few of my friends really made the effort to 'be there'
for me. I talked to the nurse about this during my last checkup.
She said that people often want to help but they don't know
how-and they may be embarrassed to ask. So I decided to make
the first move with some of the people I cared about most.
It was hard, but I think I broke down a wall when I spoke
openly about my feelings and my needs. I feel much more in
touch and supported now -Rhonda L.
- "My cancer has
led to some difficult family situations. The hardest thing
was learning to adjust to different family roles. My wife
went back to work during my recovery, and my teenage daughter
had to take care of the house. As I got better, none of us
was sure what roles were 'normal' and my daughter especially
didn't want any changes that limited her independence. At
that point the doctor suggested family therapy. I had my doubts,
but seeing the real problems behind the obvious problems made
a difference. After we worked through solutions together,
I think we're closer now than ever before."-Ralph Y.
- "The most important
source of hope and support for me has been my faith in God.
When I face my fears and uncertainties, I know I'm not alone."-Frances
C.
- "Surviving cancer
has been not one condition but many. It was such happiness
at the birth of a daughter in the midst of concerns about
the future. It was the joy of eating Chinese food for the
first time after radiation burns in my esophagus had healed.
It has been the anxiety of waiting for test results and the
fear that the cancer would recur. It has been having a positive
attitude and wanting to strangle the people who told me that
was all it would take."-Frank T.
- "People have recovered
from every type of cancer, no matter how gloomy the first
reports. Yes, we're all going to die someday of something.
But I plan to push that day back as far as I can, and to go
out fighting whenever the time comes."-Betty R.
Briefs
- Surviving Cancer-Hopeful
Trends
- There are over
8 million cancer survivors in America today.
- If lung cancer
deaths were excluded, cancer mortality would have declined
14 percent between 1950 and 1990.
- The number of
people who have survived cancer for 5 or more years has increased
significantly since 1973 for cancers of the colon, stomach,
testis, and bladder, and for Hodgkin's disease and leukemia.
- Studies show that
for most patients the emotional upset after cancer diagnosis
and treatment decreases over time.
Tips for Coping With Survivor Stress
- The following
tips come from the experiences of survivors in the American
Cancer Society's "I Can Cope" program. They are adapted from
ideas appearing in a book, I Can Cope-Staying Healthy With
Cancer, coauthored by the program's cofounder, Judi Johnson.
- Be kind to yourself.
Instead of telling yourself you can't do something you should
do, focus on what you can do and what you want to do. Instead
of telling yourself you look awful, think of ways to make
the most of your best features.
- Help others. Reaching
out to someone else can reduce the stress caused by brooding.
- Don't be afraid
to say no. Polite but firm refusals help you stay in control
of your life.
- Talk about your
concerns. It's the best way to release them.
- Learn to pace
yourself. Stop before you get tired.
- Give in sometimes.
Not every argument is worth winning.
- Get enough exercise.
It's a great way to get rid of tension and aggression in a
positive way.
- Take time for
activities you enjoy, whether it's a hobby, club, or special
project.
- Take one thing
at a time. If you're feeling overwhelmed, divide your list
into manageable parts.
- Set priorities.
Don't try to be Superman or Superwoman.
- Solve problems
like an expert. First, identify the problem and write it down,
so it's clear in your mind. Second, list your options with
the pros and cons of each. Third, choose a plan. Fourth, list
the steps to accomplish it. Then give yourself a deadline
and act. Sometimes just having a plan can reduce the stress
of the problem.
- Eat properly.
- Get enough sleep.
- Laugh at least
once a day.
- Is a Survivors'
Group Right
- If you answer
"yes" to most of the following questions, joining a cancer
survivors' group may be a positive step for you.
- Are you comfortable
sharing your feelings with others in a similar situation?
- Are you interested
in hearing others' feelings about their experiences?
- Could you benefit
from the advice of others who have gone through cancer treatment?
- Do you enjoy being
part of a group?
- Do you have helpful
information or hints to share with others?
- Would reaching
out to support other cancer survivors give you satisfaction?
- Would you feel
comfortable working with survivors who have different ways
of facing forward?
- Are you interested
in learning more about cancer and survivor issues?
- Focus on the positive.
If you have a setback, think about all of the good things
you've done.
Options for Getting
Emotional Support
- Join a cancer
survivors' group.
- Ask your doctor,
nurse, or social worker about programs available at local
hospitals.
- Call your local
cancer support organizations, including the American Cancer
Society, which may sponsor groups in your area. Check the
telephone book for contact information.
- Talk to your
family and friends.
- Help them understand
how they can help you.
- Talk about their
needs for support.
- Talk to your
clergyman or clergywoman.
- Consider professional
mental health assistance.
- Consult a psychologist,
nurse therapist, clinical social worker, or psychiatrist.
- For marital or
family issues, consult a licensed or family therapist.
- Work with someone
on the medical team to solve problems.
- Get help in dealing
with your hospital, clinic, or health maintenance organization.
- Ask about health
concerns that cause you stress.
- Support yourself.
- Draw on your own
strength.
- Read about how
others cope. Ask at your local bookstore for accounts by cancer
survivors.
- Reach out to
others.
- Helping others
can help you feel stronger and more in control.
- For some people,
helping other cancer survivors is a satisfying way to reach
out.
Resources
ADDITIONAL READING
- Taking Time:
Support for People With Cancer and the People Who Care About
Them
Discusses the emotional side of cancer- how to deal with the
disease and learn to talk with friends, family members, and
others about cancer. Available free of charge by calling the
National Çancer Institute's Cancer Information Service at
1-800-4 CANCER.
- Newsletters
- The Networker
National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship
1010 Wayne Avenue, 5th Floor
Silver Spring, MD 20910
(301) 650-8868
- Surviving
Pat Fobair
Stanford University Medical Center
Department of Radiation Oncology
Division of Radiation Therapy, Room H013
300 Pasteur Drive
Stanford, CA 94305
(415) 723-7881
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
- Cancer Survivor
Groups
- To find out about
groups in your area, contact:
- Your local Cancer
Information Service at 1-800-4-CANCER.
- Your local office
of the American Cancer Society at 1-800-ACS-2345.
- Your hospital
social services department.
- Family Concerns
- To help alleviate
or resolve tensions that cancer may cause in families and
other close relation ships, the following associations can
provide referrals to marriage and family counselors:
- Your local Cancer
Information Service at 1-800-4-CANCER.
- Your local religious
and community social service agencies (check the yellow pages
for the telephone numbers).
- Your local senior
centers.
- Your local community
mental health centers.
- American Association
for Marriage and Family Therapy1100 17th Street, NW Washington,
DC 20036 (202)452-0109
- American Association
of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (ASECT) Suite
1717
435 North Michigan Avenue Chicago, IL 60611 (312)644-0828
- American Family
Therapy Association 2020 Pennsylvania Avenue Suite 273 Washington,
DC 20006 (202)944-2776
- National Association
of Social Workers 750 First Street, NE Suite 700 Washington,
DC 20020 (202)408-8600
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